


And the Sounds of Bells Come from Locker Room Floors

by writingdeluerann



Series: A Pebble in the Water [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Bully Liam, Bullying, Depressed Zayn, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Literary References & Allusions, M/M, Movie Reference, Not Really Character Death, Obsession, Physical Abuse, Popular Liam, Popular Zayn, Punk Zayn, death but not characters, side larry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-27
Updated: 2014-01-27
Packaged: 2018-01-10 05:32:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1155689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingdeluerann/pseuds/writingdeluerann
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m sorry I need to get to class.” Zayn said trying to move past them, but was stopped when Liam’s rough hand pushed him up against the locker making his book and binder fall to the floor. Zayn clenched his teeth and closed his eyes for a second as his still bruised hip hit the locker. </p><p>“What’s the matter jaw too sore from sucking cock all weekend?” Liam asked malice laced in his voice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And the Sounds of Bells Come from Locker Room Floors

**Author's Note:**

> So I got the idea for this oneshot when I watched this online video of a boy being bullied at school. All of this sorta came pouring out of me and it started to write itself. I never meant for it to become this long. It also ended up being a bit darker than I originally intended, but I’m happy with it. Feedback is always welcome.
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All situations and how people are presented in this work is based solely on my imagination and do not depict how they actually are. I do not own One Direction and am not affiliated with them in anyway.

_It’s 7 o clock and I’m lying here in the darkness of my room letting the emptiness that has become a constant thing consume me. I should be getting up. I have school at 8, but I can’t move. Sometimes I find the only thing that keeps me going is the music. The sounds that are blaring through my headphones and into my ears are so loud that I can barely hear myself think. My eyes are closed, but it doesn’t matter because I’m at home in the darkness. It’s become a sort of friend; it’s familiar to me. I lay here in my darkened room willing reality a way for a few minutes longer as I let the lyrics of Linkin Park play my diary._

**[‘I cannot take this anymore](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmUTBDuUGz8) **

**[Saying everything I've said before](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmUTBDuUGz8) **

**[All these words they make no sense](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmUTBDuUGz8) **

**[I find bliss in ignorance](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmUTBDuUGz8) **

**[Less I hear the less you'll say](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmUTBDuUGz8) **

**[You'll find that out anyway’](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmUTBDuUGz8) **

_“Just like before.” I whisper as the beat comes in._

**[‘Everything you say to me](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmUTBDuUGz8) **

**[Takes me one step closer to the edge](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmUTBDuUGz8) **

**[And I'm about to break’](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmUTBDuUGz8) **

****

_I shut my eyes tighter as the lights flicker on in my room trying desperately to hold on to the song and remain lost in this lyrical world for just a few seconds longer so that I don’t have to face reality just yet._

****

**[‘I need a little room to breathe](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmUTBDuUGz8) **

**[Cause I'm one step closer to the edge](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmUTBDuUGz8) **

**[I'm about to break’](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmUTBDuUGz8) **

_Unfortunately for me it doesn’t last long because as Chester screams the last line in the chorus my mum is pulling my duvet from over my head and looking at me._

“I’m up mum.” Zayn said as Tricia continued to look at him.

Zayn didn’t turn away as his mother’s gaze lingered because he had become accustomed to it. She had worn that look so much in the past few years that it had become all too familiar to him. Zayn examined his mother, as time seemed to stop. He could see her once glowing eyes were now droopy and sunken in with worry lines littered across her forehead. Her once full and flowing hair was now thin and greying past the dye that she had stopped putting in her hair months ago. She was frail; continuously stressed from worry and Zayn knew it was his fault everything was always his fault.

Zayn let out a breath and put on a half smile that they both knew was fake, but refused to acknowledge. “I’m okay mum…promise.”

Tricia nodded her head and smiled, but Zayn could see the doubt there. He could see it in her eyes. She knew today wouldn’t be different no matter what they both tried to think. It had been like this for years now and no matter how much Zayn wanted it to end. He knew it wouldn’t.

“Okay.” Tricia said rising from her son’s bed. “I’m leaving for work. Try not a be late.”

Zayn nodded his head, but made no further vocal response as his mom left out of his room quietly closing the door behind her. It took him a whole other 5 minutes until he finally got out of bed and walked to the bathroom making sure to avoid the ghost rooms of his sisters. He entered the bathroom and stripped himself of his clothes as he stepped in the shower letting the water get as hot as it would get.

“Fuck.” Zayn said as the hot water hit his skin.

Zayn looked down at his bruised hip. He had forgotten it was even that big and still sore. It was black and purple and the skin surrounding it was red and a bit puffy. It nearly covered up the tattoo that he had gotten near that spot. He could barely see it because of the bruise. It just looked like a bit black blob from where he was looking. Zayn stepped further in the shower and began washing himself off despite the discomfort he felt making sure to go over the bruises littering his stomach as lightly as possible. As Zayn washed himself he could see that most of his bruises were healing including the one that had been on his arm, which was the reason he had begun to wear long sleeve shirts even though it was hot outside.

Zayn put his plush down and stepped under the steady stream of water and let his hair get drenched. He grabbed his shampoo and began washing his hair as he closed his eyes. Zayn massaged his hair feeling good as his mind began to drift.

 _“Fuck,”_ Zayn heard as the memory played in his head. He could remember the half whisper half grunt of admission that came from the boy’s lips as he sucked his cock. He could remember the tension in the boy’s strong thighs as he teased the head with his tongue bringing it in and then almost out until he would deep throat it going all the way down the shaft and swallow.

 _“Zayn fuck.”_ The boy said as Zayn hollowed out his cheeks. Zayn bobbed his head up and down while tightening his lips letting his tongue slide against the long vein as he came up.

Zayn could see it all again as he leaned his body on the shower wall and got out of the way of the water. He grabbed his hardening dick and began to tug. He could see himself as he looked up with the guy’s cock still in his mouth. He could still remember seeing war in the boy’s eyes and the tremble in the guy’s hand where Zayn knew he wanted desperately to grip onto Zayn’s black locks, but was too afraid too.

Zayn began breathing heavier as he continued to tug on his wet and now completely hard dick with his eyes closed. He didn’t want to lose this. He watched himself like he was watching a movie as he slowly reached for the guy’s hand. Zayn can remember the rough yet gentle feel of the boy. They were sweaty and trembling, but Zayn didn’t mind and he needed him to see that. Zayn placed the guy’s hand in his hair and took his hands off of the guy’s thighs giving him all the control. A few seconds went by with nothing so Zayn looked back up into boy’s eyes and nodded his head once. The boy let out a breath and relaxed and within seconds he had both hands tangled in Zayn’s hair and was slowly moving Zayn’s head up and down around his dick.

Zayn began to pump harder as he felt his climax coming. He knew this memory too well. He knew it wouldn’t be long for it either.

 _“Fuck it.”_ Zayn remembered hearing the boy say right before he began fucking Zayn’s mouth with no abandon. Zayn opened up his throat more as the boy did this and swallowed whenever he felt the head at the back of his throat. He knew if he continued to do this it wouldn’t be long so he did. He wanted that release. He needed the boy’s cum in his mouth. He craved it.

 _“I’m gonna.”_ The boy said as his body tensed up. Zayn took that as his cue and grabbed ahold of the guy’s thigh’s as he began going up and down on the boy’s cock sucking harder and deeper until finally the boy was spurting his cum straight down Zayn’s throat.

“ _Oh fuck.”_ The boy said as he shook through his climax until finally it was done and he relaxed.

Zayn slowly pulled himself off of the now soft dick and looked up at the boy. He didn’t know what to say or if he should say anything and from the look on the guy’s face he didn’t either.

 _“Um th–”_ Zayn began to say, but was cut off _._

 _“–Don’t fuckin say anything.”_ The boy said as his eyes went dark and blank. His broad shoulders tensed as he forcefully pulled up his jeans and pushed Zayn out of the way as he stood up. The boy looked back and when he did Zayn knew the rejection, hurt, and humiliation was written all over his face, but as the boy stared back at him the only thing he saw was hate.

 _“Don’t you ever breathe a word of this!”_ The boy said as a final goodbye and left out of the boy’s locker room.

Zayn looked around at the emptiness of the room and it was as if he was suffocating although he was in the locker room. He didn’t want to feel like this. Tears began to trickle down his cheeks as he felt a shadow settle over him and wrap him up like a blanket. He could feel the darkness slowly consuming him as he laid there not able to move.

Zayn opened his eyes and turned off the shower water. He got out and began getting ready for school putting on the numb façade that he had learned how to perfect.

#

Zayn pulled into his schools parking lot and turned off his car. His heart was hammering in his chest and his fingers trembled. He just wanted to have a nice day. Zayn let out a breath and wiped his sweaty hands on his black skinny jeans and looked down at his black combat boots. He was nervous as he gazed out his car window looking for the group of boy’s he just wanted to avoid for today. He let out a breath and relaxed when he didn’t see them so he got his ear buds out of his cup holder and put them in his ears turning up his music as loud as it would go. He grabbed his books from the passenger seat and got out clutching them to his side with one hand and put his other hand in his pocket so that no one saw that it was trembling.

Zayn walked in silence toward the building while his music played in his ears. He held his head down as he walked trying his hardest to blend in and go unnoticed by the crowd although he knew that wasn’t going to happen. He was the fallen angel whose black wings had been cut off a long time ago. He knew that was the reason it was harder on him. He knew that’s why _they_ were harder on him because he was once one of them. Did he beat people up, well no, but he had said his fair share of choice words and ignoring a situation when one of his friends did take it to far to incriminate him anyways. Then the new guy, Liam, came to town and took over the school. What was once Zayn’s kingdom was snatched from right under his feet. His subjects went willingly. The friends he thought were his friends deserted him, but even then it wasn’t like it is now. Liam gave him his fair share of nasty looks, but it was never physical. They never spoke or exchanged words and neither did anyone else, but then everything changed.

Zayn can remember the day his mum showed up to school and told him that his sisters and their dad had died in a terrible car accident. He can still hear the sounds of his world falling around him. After that it got worse. Zayn drew into himself and he no longer cared about anything or anyone. He didn’t care if his _‘friends’_ did or didn’t talk to him. He didn’t care about anyone or anything. Zayn couldn’t feel because he was numb and that seemed to agitate Liam more. He didn’t like being ignored. So that’s when he decided to get his tattoos with all of them meaning something different and lot of them dedicated to his sisters and his dad, but he still couldn’t feel. He didn’t know what to do and his mother kept getting worse, but he couldn’t help her so he decided to distract himself. He started sleeping around with everyone; boys and girls alike from all of the neighboring towns and for a while he liked it because they knew nothing of who he was. They didn’t know his reasoning and most of them didn’t care. All they cared about was the bloke with the tan skin, nice hair, and caramel eyes. All they cared about was using him as they see fit and Zayn didn’t protest because he didn’t care either. He still couldn’t feel and no matter how many boys pounded into him or how many girls he fucked it never changed until one day it did. It got back to his school that he was having sex with guys in the other towns. Zayn doesn’t even know how it got out, but it did and it didn’t matter that Zayn had been fucking girls too even though Zayn knew he really was gay. All that mattered was that the fallen angel was now gay too and unfit for even hell’s thrown so they clipped his wings and through him into the fire. He became a target. It didn’t matter that Zayn once owned the school. It didn’t matter that he once held the cards and had everyone eating out his hands because now Liam called the shots and Liam said that the school should hate Zayn so they did. Liam made it known that Zayn wasn’t welcome so that’s what he became and in that moment Zayn knew what was worse than not feeling at all. The pain of having the very people you once cared about even marginally turn their back on you and become the very source of your pain was worse than not feeling an ounce of it.

Zayn took his hand out his pocket as he walked into the school ignoring each stare that he got focusing more on the path in front of him and walking and anything else other than the spotlight that seemed to be on him as soon as he walked into the building. Zayn walked to the end of the corridor and turned. His locker was at the end of the hallway past the library, past the elective hall, past the English hall, and even past the History clutter of classrooms. So Zayn didn’t really focus on anything as he walked paying more attention the music that he still had playing to comfort him. He was tapping the beat to the song that was now playing with his fingers on his thigh. He was content as he got to the end of the hallway and turned right finally heading toward his locker when he saw them. He and Liam both stopped staring at each other for a split second before Zayn tore his eyes away and downcast them. He began walking toward his locker trying to ignore the group that he could see getting closer out of his peripherals. Zayn got to his locker and did his combination opening it up and placing his books inside. He grabbed his first period book and binder out of the locker and closed it as his favorite part in his song came on. When he turned to leave the group was all there with Liam at it’s center and in the front. Zayn said nothing because he knew what was about to happen.

Liam stepped to Zayn with a blank expression on his face, darkness in his eyes, and a wicked smile on his lips. “So how was your weekend Zayn?” Liam asked.

Zayn looked past them over their shoulders where he could see student’s beginning to round the corner for class. “I’m sorry I need to get to class.” Zayn said trying to move past them, but was stopped when Liam’s rough hand pushed him up against the locker making his book and binder fall to the floor. Zayn clenched his teeth and closed his eyes for a second as his still bruised hip hit the locker.

“What’s the matter jaw too sore from sucking cock all weekend?” Liam asked malice laced in his voice.

Zayn opened his eyes and looked past them trying to find a way out, but saw none. There were no teachers around and the students were beginning to gather to watch how far this would go, but no one was willing to help. They just stood and watched. Zayn looked down at his books and debated on if they were worth getting. He looked back up and saw the look on Liam’s face and decided they weren’t. He would just have to figure out later, but right now all he wanted to do was escape.

Zayn turned around finding an opening where he could leave and began walking toward it. He didn’t get very far though as he felt a strong grip come on his arms and suddenly he was being slammed into the locker once again only this time loud enough to hear the sound echo. It knocked the breath out of him.

“Where you going Zayn?” Liam said with one hand still tight around Zayn’s arm and the other pushing tightly into Zayn’s bruised hip.

Zayn looked everywhere, but at Liam’s face as the pain of the tender bruise got too much and a lone tear began to fall down his cheek. “Liam I really need to get to class.” Zayn said still unable to look at him. He moved to leave only to have Liam slam him into the lockers again making Zayn nearly cry out as his lower back hit a huge lock.

“And I asked you a–”

“Liam mate let’s just go.” Zayn heard Harry say from beside him.

Liam didn’t even look at them though. His eyes were still buried in Zayn, but his grip got tighter.

“Liam he’s not even worth your time. We have better things to do.” Zayn heard Louis say then.

Zayn chanced a look his way and for a split second he could see a little of his old friend back before his eyes were clouded with the same indifferent expression.

“No.” Liam said through clenched teeth. “He still hasn’t answered my question.”

Zayn’s heart was beating in his chest, as his entire body seemed to ache. He could see and hear from where he was still not looking at Liam; Louis moving away from the group of friends and toward Liam until he was close enough to whisper.

“Liam we really need to go a teacher is–”

“Is there a problem here?” Mrs. Ferguson said looking at everyone.

Liam let go of Zayn’s arm and moved away from him putting on the fakest smile he could for the teacher. “No ma’am Zayn just dropped his books and I was handing them to him.”

The teacher looked past Liam and at Zayn who still hadn’t moved from the locker. He could barely find his voice. When he spoke it was small and weak. It was all he could muster. “There’s not a problem. Liam was just about to hand me my books. I dropped them.”

The teacher looked between them for a moment, but seemed to accept this. “Okay well don’t be late for class.” She turned around and began walking down the hallway and toward her classroom.

When she was out of site Liam turned back around with eyes blown and a hard-set face. Zayn moved back until he was hitting the locker again and looked at Liam.

“Books.” Liam said with his hand extended. When they were in his hand he brought them in front of him waiting for Zayn to grab them. Zayn reached out with shaky hands and grabbed his books clutching them to his chest because he dare not touch his hip. When Zayn was done Liam moved so close that their faces were nearly touching and snarled, “Next time just answer the fucking question.” Liam said as he pushed past Zayn and left with his group trailing behind him.

Zayn watched them all go and right as everyone was around the corner he locked eyes with Louis who stopped and they both stared at each other. He knew the hurt was all over his face because he could see the guilt and regret written all over Louis’. Zayn continued to stare until it got too much for Louis who looked away first and left down the hallway where the rest of his friends had gone. The first bell began to ring, as Zayn turned around walked slowly back to his locker. He put in the combination and opened it up. Zayn looked over at his arm and saw where a new bruise was forming. He looked around the hallway before lifting up his shirt just barely to see the bruise bigger than it had been and hour ago. He pressed his fingers lightly on the bruise, but quickly moved his hand away as the pain shot through his body. He clenched and unclenched his teeth as the pain flowed through and reached in his locker and pulled out his leather jacket. He knew he would have to wear it today as not to get asked about the bruise on his arm. When he was done he closed his locker as the late bell began to ring and walked down the hallway to the class that unfortunately they all shared.

#

“Okay class calm down.” Mrs. Ferguson said as Zayn slid through the door.

Liam turned around in his seat with a smirk on his face. “Someone’s la–” 

“I don’t remember asking for any commentary Mr. Payne.”

Liam rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat watching Zayn creep through the rows. Zayn barely picked up his combat boot clad feet as he walked across the classroom. He wanted to seem okay and not like his heart was currently rumbling in his chest from nervousness even though he had nothing to worry about. He knew Liam wouldn’t try anything in here not with the teacher watching, but still it did nothing to curve the pain he still felt in his hip and the scar he felt across his heart. It did nothing for the shadow that seemed to constantly follow him around and suck out every bit of happiness like a parasite. So anxiety is what took over, a rational emotion however misplaced, at the current moment. Zayn still knew that as soon as the bell rung it didn’t matter how fast he tried to walk out of the classroom they would always find a way to break him. He knew that’s where the fear came from not from the current moment, but from knowing that sometime in the near future it would happen again and he couldn’t do anything about it.

Zayn sucked in a breath and sat down in his seat that was unfortunately diagonally across from Liam. He took out his notebook with disinterest and looked at the teacher who was patiently waiting.

“Alright class for the past few weeks we have been studying love in literature. We have looked at everything from Shakespeare to Harry Potter. Can someone tell me what they’ve learned about love after studying these works?” 

Mrs. Ferguson looked around the room. It was no surprise that no one had their hand up. It always seemed that even if the students wanted to answer they wouldn’t say a word unless hand picked. She didn’t even understand why she even asked anymore when she would just have to make someone give an answer anyway.

“Mr. Styles would you care to give an answer?”

Harry looked up with wide eyes and a blush on his cheeks. A smile began creeping up on his face as he tried his hardest not to look at the boy sitting beside him. He ran his fingers through his hair and let out a breath trying to look more indifferent.

“Love is powerful.” Harry finally said.

The teacher smiled at him and nodded her head. “That is correct. One thing we can deduce from these works is that love is a very powerful thing. Now with that in mind this week I wanted to go deeper into the topic of love in literature, but before I do I want to see if any of you can figure it out on your own.” 

Mrs. Ferguson walked around her desk and began writing on her white board. When she was done she moved back around to her podium for the class to see.

“Now can anyone tell me what _Frankenstein_ , _Moby Dick_ , _The Twilight Saga_ , _The Roommate,_ and _The Great Gatsby_ all have in common?”

“What’s _The Roommate_?” A student asked.

“A 2011 American thriller.”  Mrs. Ferguson answered and then turned back to the class. “Any ideas?”

Zayn looked at the white board. It didn’t take long for him to make the connection. He had read all those books already and he had seen _The Roommate_. It seemed like an obvious answer to him.

Zayn looked up at the teacher and cleared his throat. “Obsession.” He said quietly.

Mrs. Ferguson looked at him. “Could you say that a bit louder please Mr. Malik?”

“Yeah um.” Zayn said sitting up straighter in his seat. “The connection between them is obsession. All of them are about obsession.” Zayn leaned back in his seat and began looking at his desk.

“Passion, love, and obsession…” Mrs. Ferguson said looking at the class. “…These three things can be found all throughout literature, films, and even life because all works of fiction hold some truth. Even the most outlandish fiction holds some degree of truth because writers draw from within themselves. Writers are able to take even the tiniest of emotions and magnify them to create these works that we have all grown to love.”

“But Twilight’s a love story.” A girl said from across the room. “It’s not about obsession.”

“But how could someone be obsessed with something and not first love it?” Mrs. Ferguson asked, but the student said nothing. “Obsession starts with love. Obsession is what I would like to call the black plague of love. First it starts out harmless like wanting to create a life, find a whale, or a simple look between strangers, but somewhere along the way something happens. You go from simply wanting these things to needing these things in order to function. You begin to do everything you can to obtain it whether it’s beating yourself up to make it look like you were hurt in order to gain the person’s affection like in _The Roommate_ or maybe you begin sneaking into the girl’s room your obsessed with at night and following her around everywhere she goes like in Twilight.

But whatever you do that is where passion and harmless love become obsession, especially when what you want so badly is so far out of your reach that you become willing to risk it all in order to get it. That’s when you become like Captain Ahab who is willing to risk everything, including the death of most of his crew, to get the object of his obsession. Or maybe you become like Jay Gatsby whose love for Daisy became so intense that he became obsessed with doing everything he could to have her only for it all to backfire.

So yes one can have love without being obsessed as we have seen from the past few weeks, but what we haven’t studied is what happens when that love becomes something more. Something dangerous.”

Mrs. Ferguson left from behind her podium and went to the white board and erased the words she had written on the far right side. When she was done she lifted up the projector screen that had been covering up the middle of the board and revealed a quote. She began to read it.

_“Nothing is more curious and awkward than the relationship of two people who only know each other with their eyes—who meet and observe each other daily, even hourly and who keep up the impression of disinterest either because of morals or because of a mental abnormality. Between them there is listlessness and pent-up curiosity, the hysteria of an unsatisfied, unnaturally suppressed need for communion and also a kind of tense respect. Because man loves and honors man as long as he is not able to judge him, and desire is a product of lacking knowledge.” - Thomas Mann “Death in Venice.”_

Liam looked at the quote reading it again and again in his mind. He didn’t even know what book that was. He had never heard of it a day in his life, but he understood the quote. It scared him that he understood the speaker whomever he was because it stirred up an emotion within him that he had tried his hardest to ignore. It was an emotion covered up with hate, hostility, disgust, and every other negative emotion he could think of that would somehow change or at least take his mind off what he knew was happening.

Liam’s hands were getting sweaty and his heart was beating so fast like that of hummingbird wings, but louder. He looked at the teacher who was still talking, but he didn’t care. He tapped his fingers on his desk trying to take his mind somewhere else, but no matter what he did it always landed back to _him._ It made him angry. He didn’t know how or when it happened. He couldn’t remember the precise moment that the boy with caramel eyes seemed to take over his every thought. He hadn’t meant for it to happen, but had _he_ knew that it would happen?

Liam stopped drumming his fingers and looked at Zayn who was drawing something in his notebook. He studied him getting angrier and angrier by the second. Staring at the face that was making him insane. He could see it all. Every time he tried to speak, but Zayn seemed not to care. Every time he looked his way, but it wasn’t returned. It made him angry that nothing he did made Zayn notice him. What had he done? He had been new he hadn’t done anything wrong. Then just like Mrs. Ferguson said something changed. Something happened that left Liam feeling uneasy. Zayn made him feel something that none of his girlfriends were able to make him feel. He didn’t know how he did, but when it set in Liam didn’t like it. Suddenly hate and anger was all Liam could show. He didn’t want Zayn. He didn’t love him. He didn’t feel anything for Zayn, only he did and he wanted to destroy him for it. He wanted Zayn to feel everything he felt with every rejected look and confused thought. Liam wanted to forget the boy with caramel eyes and the way he made his body tremble, but he couldn’t and _he_ likes it. Zayn wanted him this way confused and angry wanting someone that didn’t want him. Trying to hate someone when all he felt was love. Zayn wanted every thought consumed by his image. _It had to be why he did it_ Liam thought. He must enjoy the torture he put Liam through. That was the only way he could explain it. It had to be. Zayn wanted Liam not able to sleep because he sees him in his dreams. _He wanted me this way_ Liam thought as his anger began to build. _He wanted–_

“Mr. Payne.” The teacher yelled bringing Liam back to reality.

Liam focused his eyes and everyone was looking at him including Zayn, but he looked afraid like if he could runaway he would. Liam let out a breath and faced the teacher.

“Yes ma’am.” Liam said through clenched teeth.

“Mr. Payne I would advice you to pay attention, but the class is about to end. However I do need you to pass these books out. I expect the first chapter, prologue included, to be read by tomorrow.” Mrs. Ferguson said tapping the box full of books.

Liam got up and walked to get the books ignoring the quizzical looks that Louis was giving him. He simply grabbed the books and passed them out in silence only hesitating when he got to Zayn. He doesn’t know how long he stood there with the book in his hand, but he knew it was long because soon he could hear the teacher calling his name again. He didn’t even look back at her or respond. He just let the book fall on Zayn’s desk and continued until he was done. He sat the box back on the teacher’s desk and went back to his desk finally reading what book they had to read. _A Density of Souls_ by Christopher Rice. He hadn’t heard of this book either. He didn’t care though because as soon as he was done reading the title the bell rang and before anyone could ask or question he left. Only one person caught up to him. He should have known honestly.

“We need to talk.” Louis said grabbing Liam by his shirt and dragging him into the guy’s restroom. “Out!” Louis yelled at the students who were in there. They all scrabbled to get out knowing better than to ask why.

“Hey.” Louis said banging on the last restroom stall door. “If you’re not out of here by the time I fi–” The door flung open and a small boy, freshman Louis thought, came scrambling out of the door and out of the restroom. When it was finally empty he looked at Liam.

“Louis what did I do?” Liam said disinterested. He wasn’t in the mood.

Louis stepped to him crossing his arms. “What is up with you today?”

Liam rolled eyes. “Louis what are–”

“–Save it Liam okay because something is up with you. Everyone else may be too bloody stupid to see it, but I know you.”

Liam didn’t respond. He knew Louis was right. Louis continued. “First this shit we did yesterday in the locker room. It was too much and you know it. You fuckin bruised his side and it was huge. I know because I saw it after you left.” Louis paced in front of Liam and then stopped. “Oh and lets not even talk about all the crap that’s happened the past few months.”

“Louis ple–”

“Then” Louis said talking over Liam to shut him up. “Then the stuff you did this morning… What was that Liam? He wasn’t even bothering you.”

“Let me–”

“AND as if it wasn’t enough that you taunt him every damn day you had to fuckin slam him into the lockers like 5 times and the way you were looking at him in class. It was like you could kill him.” Louis huffed out a breath pointing a finger at Liam. “Something is up with you. You’re starting to go to far.”

“Too far.” Liam said angry now. “Too far.” Liam began pacing the restroom stopping when he was in front of Louis. “He was _your_ fucking best friend Lou and in all this time you never said one damn word about what I did to him so save it okay. You can look at me and tell me how wrong I am, but what about me okay I didn’t do anything wrong. What about everything he’s done. He probably fuckin likes it what he’s done to me. He probably fuckin wants me like this. He probably provokes me just so I get angry. He thinks he’s so _clever_. He thinks I’m _beneath_ him. He knows what he does okay. He knows what he’s done to me. He likes how bloody mental I’ve gotten. I hate him okay. I want to destroy him and break him everyway I can and I will.” Liam said finally looking at Louis with a wild sneer. “I will.” Liam’s smile faded and tears began to roll down his cheeks, but he wiped them away as the anger began to build again.

Louis didn’t say anything as he looked at his friend. He couldn’t. He wanted to be angry with, but looking at him now he couldn’t. Liam’s face was flush and his chest was moving up and down. Louis could see this wild yet confused look in his friend’s eyes. He was afraid. Louis began walking to the door, but turned around when he reached it. Liam looked up at Louis.

“Look at what you’ve become.” Louis said almost a whisper. “I don’t even know who you are anymore.” Louis let his head fall and he left out of the restroom.

Liam turned around and looked at himself in the mirror. It was the first time he had _really_ looked at himself and he couldn’t recognize the reflection in front of him. He looked mental. His face was red and his eyes had bags under them as well as being bloodshot. He couldn’t recognize himself. What had he become? What had Zayn turned him into?

Liam looked at his reflection and it was as if the person in the mirror began to laugh and it made him angry. He continued to watch and where his reflection once was Zayn’s now looked back at him. Liam’s face became hard as he stared back at the laughing Zayn in the mirror.

“Look at you.” The reflection said. “Look what I’ve done. You’re so pathetic.”

Zayn’s reflection began to laugh, but Liam was angry now. He didn’t want to hear it.

“Leave me alone.” Liam yelled.

Zayn began to laugh again. “You’re nothing to me. Look at yourself. You. Are. So. Pathetic. I could never want you.”

“Get out of my head.” Liam said closing his eyes and hitting himself with his own fist. “Get out of my head.”

“You hear me.” Zayn’s reflection was yelling now. “You’re worthless and beneath me. I could never want you. You’re nothing. You were always nothing!”

“LEAVE ME ALONE.” Liam finally screamed as he punched the mirror shattering it completely. He fell to the floor clutching his bloody fist and began to cry. “Just leave me alone.”

#

The bell rang for lunch and Zayn inwardly relaxed because all he wanted to do was smoke. He knew it wouldn’t help and he knew it was bad for him, but he needed one. The fear that he had become so accustomed to grew as he remembered the look on Liam’s face. It was a look that could kill. It was so wild and free. He didn’t know what to do. Zayn walked out of the classroom slowly. He just had to get outside so that he could get to his car for a smoke. All he had to do was get outside and he would be okay. Zayn walked down the hallway with his darkness trailing behind him. His heart was moving in his chest as if it would break.

Zayn reached the front door and pushed it open. He took out his ear buds in his pocket and placed them in his ear turning on his music after. Korn began playing in his ears as he walked to his car. It was dark, but somehow in comforted him. The darkness wrapping it’s itself around him with icy fingers. He relaxed into the lyrics identifying with every word that was sung.

**_[‘Hey, I'm feeling tired.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[My time, is gone today.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[You flirt with suicide.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[Sometimes, that's ok.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[Do what others say.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[I'm here, standing hollow.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[Falling away from me.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[Falling away from me.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**__ **

**_[Day, is here fading.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[That's when, I would say.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[I flirt with suicide.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[Sometimes kill the pain.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[I can always say.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_['It's gonna be better tomorrow'.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[Falling away from me.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[Falling away from me.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**__ **

**_[Beating me down.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[Beating me, beating me.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[Down, down.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[Into the ground.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[Screaming some sound.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[Beating me, beating me.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[Down, down.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[Into the ground.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**__ **

**_[(falling away from me).](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[It's spinning round and round.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[(falling away from me).](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[It's lost and can't be found.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[(falling away from me).](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[It's spinning round and round.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[(falling away from me).](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[Slow it down.’](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

Zayn looked down as he walked saying the lyrics to himself. Every word defined him. It was everything he ever felt. Every time he was thrown against the locker or knocked on the floor. When he came home to a depressed mother who he couldn’t turn too. When he sat in his room willing for someone to hear his screams he could see it all. It was here in the lyrics that Jonathan Davis wrote from his heart. It was in every scream, guitar, and drum that played in his ears. It was a comfort knowing that someone felt the same way even if he knew it would never change.

 

Zayn stopped and his heart began to beat in his chest as he saw the feet of someone leaning against his car. He looked up the person until he fell on a face he hadn’t been this close to in what felt like forever.

“What do you want Louis?” Zayn said pulling his ear buds out of his ear and cutting off his music.

Louis smiled at him and rose from where he was leaning on his car. Zayn instinctively took a step back. When Louis saw this his face fell and his smirk was gone. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked at Zayn. “Can we talk?”

Zayn stared blankly at him. “It’s been what…2.5 years now… anything you wanted to say could have been said a while ago Lou so no I don’t want to talk.”

Zayn moved to open his car door, but Louis stopped him. “Look I know I don’t deserve it, but could you please just...” Louis looked at Zayn pleading. “Please here me out.”

Zayn rolled his eyes. “Get in.”

Louis smiled a half smile and opened up the driver’s door and began crawling across the seat.

“Lou?” Zayn said staring at Louis with an eyebrow raised. “You really could have just walked around.”

“Too late now.” Louis said plopping down in the passenger seat. Zayn got in and closed the door.

It was an awkward silence as they sat in the car. There was a time Zayn remembered when Louis talked so much that he didn’t have to say anything for them to have a conversation because Louis could do both sides. Now though he could tell that time had changed and that things were different.

“Could you get my cigarettes out of the…” Zayn said pointing not even finishing because Louis was getting them out and handing them to him. “Do you want one?”

Louis nodded his head and Zayn gave him a cigarette lighting his first then Louis’. Zayn took a long puff before blowing out.

“What do you want Lou?”

“Today” Louis said looking down and then up again. “I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry about today. I think Liam may have went a bit far and…”

“Lou why now?” Zayn said blankly. “After all this time why are you apologizing now?”

“Because Zayn I can that’s what fr–”

“–Friends” Zayn said getting angry now. “You seriously want to throw out the ‘friend card’ Louis. It’s been two years and you haven’t said a word, but now that it’s apparently ‘too much’ you feel the need to say sorry is that it?”

“Zayn would you please just lis–”

“–Get out.” Zayn said breathing heavy.

“What?”

“Get out of m–”

“–See Zayn this.” Louis said pointing at him. “This is why I haven’t–you just make it so god damn hard for anyone to be there for you. All you do is shut down and push people away. What was I suppose to do?”

Zayn didn’t say anything, but Louis continued. “I called you everyday for the first 6 months and you wouldn’t respond. I came over and it was like I wasn’t there. I tried talking to you and you wouldn’t speak. **_You_** pushed **_me_** away Zayn. I didn’t leave you. You made the decision for me. You gave me no choice.”

It was silent for a minute. Neither one knew what to say. Louis knew that there was nothing more he could say. He knew Zayn and this would take a while to sink in. As much as he didn’t like it he would have to wait. Louis looked over at Zayn one last time before putting out his cigarette and leaving out of the car.

Zayn didn’t say anything as Louis left. He just picked up his phone putting in his ear buds and started the song where he left off. He drifted into the numb darkness he was familiar because someone it was better than reality.

**_[‘Twisting me, they won't go away.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

**_[So I pray, go away.’](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ) _ **

****

#

Zayn sat alone in the bathroom stall nervously tapping his fingers on his legs. It was the end of the day and all he needed to do was to wait until everyone changed and left out of the locker rooms so he could do the same. He didn’t want a repeat of yesterday…

_Zayn looked around him. He didn’t see anyone. He opened up his gym locker and took out his shirt and put it on. He grabbed his books and closed his locker. He nearly dropped his books when he turned around._

_“Where you goin Zayn?” Liam said blocking his way out. “Need to go meet your faggot boyfriend after school?”_

_Zayn looked around. No one was going to let him out of this. He looked around for Louis or even Harry, but didn’t see them. His stomach dropped.  “Schoo–school’s over I’m just trying to leave.” Zayn said pushing his way through them._

_“You’re not going anywhere until I say you can.” Liam said jerking Zayn back around. “You can go suck some blokes cock on your own time.”_

_Liam slammed Zayn up against the lockers as his friends cheered him on. Zayn pushed out a breath and looked at Liam. Anger now taking over his normal fear. “Think you need to be the one talking about gay blow jobs Liam or do I need to tell your friends why you were really late that day after school.”_

_Liam yanked him by his shirt gritting his teeth as he spoke. “What did you say to me faggot?”_

_“I guess detention gets served in the locker room all the time doesn’t it Liam?” Zayn said getting closer to him. Liam didn’t say anything and Zayn stepped even closer. “Or maybe you say my name so much because you didn’t get enough when I was sucking you–”_

_Liam pushed Zayn forcefully to the floor as his anger and humiliation hit its peak. Zayn fell crying out as his hip hit the side of the locker room bench. Liam looked at Zayn for only a second more before he stormed out with his friends close behind him. Zayn breathed hard as he tried to get himself up, but couldn’t._

_“Fuck.” He said as he looked up and was met to the sight of Louis and Harry starring back at him with confusion and confliction in both of their eyes._

_Zayn didn’t say anything, but simply looked away grabbing the same bench and got himself up. When he was done Louis and Harry were gone._

…Zayn didn’t hear anything as the memory faded. He stood up and quietly opened up the door making sure that he was alone. When he was satisfied that he was by himself he came out of the locker room and went to his locker gathering his books to go home. He closed the door when he was done and–

“–Look at me.” Liam said pushing Zayn up against his locker. Tears filled his eyes and his face was red as he spoke. “Tell me what you’ve done to me?”

“What are you talking ab–”

“–don’t play dumb with me you know what you’ve done.” Liam said through glossy eyes. “You know what you’ve done.”

Liam pushed away from Zayn as he began pacing in front of him. He looked like a maniac. His hair was all over the place. His face was red and splotchy it was almost angry, but it was also filled with tears and a look that Zayn knew all too well–frustration.

“You like me like this don’t you?” Liam said looking at Zayn again. Zayn didn’t respond. He just looked on with wide eyes. “I’ve gone mental you know that? I’m…” Liam faded off and began pacing the room again. “I smile and you ignore. I talk and you ignore. I stare and you ignore. I start to hate you and you ignore.” Liam stormed up to Zayn pushing him all the way up against the locker. Zayn turned his head as Liam began yelling. “Even when I’m right in front of you–ignore ignore ignore that’s all you do is ignore–LOOK AT ME.” Liam said jerking Zayn’s face to look at him. Zayn still didn’t say anything. He had never seen this side of Liam. It scared him more than any one of Liam’s emotions. He didn’t know what to do. “You’re always in my head when I sleep and I dream of you and your eyes and when I’m awake and I like it Zayn. Why do I like it? It’s wrong to–I’m not supposed to like it. It makes me…” Liam pulled at his Mohawk. “I hate it! I feel you _on_ me always and I…” Liam stepped even closer to Zayn with tears stained eyes and a scratchy voice. “You got to stop it Zayn I don’t–I can’t be gay Zayn I just can’t. You got to stop it.”

Liam went limp and Zayn caught him. He slid them down to the locker room floor as Liam continued to cry only now it was no longer anger. “ _Please_ just make it stop Zayn. I can’t have you so make it stop. I just want it to stop.”

Liam continued to mumble into Zayn’s chest as he cried. Zayn didn’t say anything. What could he say? He knew he shouldn’t, but he felt sorry for Liam and even a little responsible so he kept quiet. He just held him as he cried wrapping his arms tightly around the boy who was holding him just as tight.

#

Zayn let out a nervous breath as he knocked on the door to Louis’ house. He hadn’t called because he didn’t know how Louis would react. He decided that just showing up would be the best approach. He hoped he was even in considering it was 7 o clock on a weekend. Usually by now Louis would be out and probably wouldn’t be back till early in the morning. Zayn lifted up his hand to knock again, but he could hear someone unlocking it so he let his hand drop. The door opened and–

“Zayn?” Harry said standing in the doorway.

Zayn looked at Harry with confusion, but finally answered. “Is Louis home?”

Harry ran a hand through his curls and then turned around yelling into the living room. Zayn couldn’t see it, but he had been over here enough to know that’s where he was looking.

“Ugh Lou could come to the door?”

The sofa squeaked as Louis got up walking to the door. “Haz it can’t be this difficult to fetch the–Zayn?” Louis said looking at him. Zayn was the last person he was expecting.

“Ugh I’m sorry it seems like I’m interrupting–”

“–No Zayn it’s okay.” Louis said. “Did you want to talk?”

“Yeah.” Zayn said nodding his head.

Zayn walked into the familiar house as Harry closed the door. Everything looked the same. Everything even smelled the same. Zayn looked all around the room and he could see not much had changed in the past 2 and half years. It made him happy. When he was done Zayn turned around found Louis and harry nearly flush to flush. Harry was leaned over and Louis was looking up at with something Zayn couldn’t ever remember Louis looking at anyone like ever!

“It’s okay boo just talk to him. I’ll still be here when you’re done.” Harry whispered to Louis. Louis smiled and squeezed his hand. He turned around and walked toward Zayn who he knew had caught the entire exchange.

“Wanna go up to my room?” Louis asked.

“Okay.” Zayn said and Louis smiled at him before finally walking up to his room.

Louis closed the door to his room and sat on his bed. He watched Zayn as he paced the room. He didn’t say anything. He was silent until eventually Zayn lifted his head up and looked him straight in the eye.

“Before I say anything I just need you to tell me something?”

“Okay.” Louis said.

Zayn sat down next to Louis and looked over at him. “How was I after...” Zayn chocked up. He never talked about this. It was something he decided to never talk about, but he had too. Now was the time for him to talk. “…How was I after my dad and sister’s died?”

Louis sat silently trying to find the right words to say. He let out a breath and looked at Zayn. “You shut down Zee. I didn’t know what to do and _nobody_ knew what to do.” Louis tugged his beanie down further on his head and began tugging at his shirt. “None of us blame you Zayn we don’t blame you. I don’t know how it feels to lose that many people like you did, but none of us blame you. I guess earlier I was frustrated. It was just hard afterwards because it was like you were a zombie. It was like you died too even though you were still alive. You didn’t really care about anything anymore and you never said anything. You stopped talking.”

Zayn didn’t say anything for a while. He hadn’t meant to hurt anyone. He just didn’t know how to deal with it. Zayn reached his hand and placed it over Louis’. “I’m sorry Lou.”

“Zayn you don’t have to–”

“Yes I do.” Zayn said standing up. “After everything I did.”

“We did stuff too so don’t blame yourself.” Louis said firmly.

“I know Louis, but” Zayn sat back down. “I have to take responsibility too. I guess I just never knew what I was doing and then what Liam said after school I–”

“–What he do?” Louis said with wide accusing eyes.

“Nothing really it was…” Zayn faded off. “It was like the day he pushed me down you know.” He looked at Louis who nodded. “Only this time he was alone and he was crying. It was weird because I’ve never seen him like this it was like he was someone else.”

Zayn turned facing Louis more and then continued. “He pushed me up against the lockers and he just kept screaming that ‘I like him like this’ and he kept screaming that I did something to him and then he told me about when he first came and how he tried to be nice, but I ignored him and then he kept trying, but I kept ignoring him and then after we…” Zayn faded off.

Louis raised his eyebrow. “After you what?”

Zayn cleared his throat. “One day after school… I think Liam told you he had to have detention… Liam and me were in the locker rooms and I can’t remember how it happened, but soon enough I was sucking him off. I think that maybe after you know everyone found out I was gay I think he was just trying to set me off or idk, but when I sucked him off he liked it and it made him angry. So after he told me never to say anything. That’s when it got worse.” Zayn looked down remembering. “So when we were in the locker room today he asked me to get out his head. He just kept telling me about how he always thought about me and it drives him crazy.” Zayn looked back at Louis. “He said it was wrong, but he liked it and he hated himself for it and afterword when he left. I sat there and I couldn’t understand it. I thought he hated me. I thought he hated that I was gay until I thought about it in class today. I thought about obsession and the talk we had. I thought about the book we are supposed to be reading _A Density of Souls.”_ Louis nodded his head. “And I understood him and I feel bad because I never noticed.”

“The things he did though and the fact that we allowed him to do it.”

“I know what he did.” Zayn said looking at Louis softly. “I know it’ll take some time, but I understand now and I’m sorry. I should’ve opened up to you. We’ve been friends since we were 5 Lou I should have let you help me and I didn’t. I made myself think that all of you left me when I was the one that pushed you away. I’m sorry for that because you don’t deserve it.”

Zayn went quiet. He said all he had to say. Louis looked over at Zayn with the childlike look Zayn hadn’t seen in forever. “So friends?”

Zayn smiled at Louis. “You will always be my best mate Louis no matter what happens.”

Louis wrapped Zayn in a hug and stayed in that position with his head on Zayn’s shoulder for a few minutes until he let go and Zayn stood up.

“Where you going?” Louis asked. “You could stay and hang with me and Harry if you want?”

“I would but I have someone else I need to see.”

“Liam.” Louis said simply.

“Liam.” Zayn said.

Louis nodded his head and he and Zayn began walking back down the stairs toward the living room. When they got back down Harry looked up from the kitten show he was watching on tv and waved. Zayn waved back and Louis walked him to the door.

“Be careful Zayn.” Louis said with concern. “Don’t go see him if you think he’ll freak out.”

“I think it’ll be okay.” Zayn said smiling at Louis. “Oh and congratulations with you and Harry. You look perfect.”

“Thanks Zayn.” Louis said smiling, but it faded and he began chewing on his lip and Zayn knew that look.

“We’re good Lou promise.” Zayn said understanding. “I know how bad you feel. You already apologized remember?”

“Yeah, but?”

“And I accepted it. Louis we’re good.”

A smile grew on Louis face. “Okay. See you Zayn.”

“Thanks Lou.”

Zayn pulled away from Louis’ house feeling like a weight had been lifted. He could already feel things changing for the better. The world didn’t seem as dark as it had before. He felt like finally he was able to really see. He felt _different._ Zayn drove down the rode not even bothering to listen to music. He listened to the sounds of the night. The sounds of the cars he passed and the city around him. He let his window down and let the breeze hit his face making him feel refreshed. When he knew he was getting close to Liam’s however he felt his heart speeding up and anxiety slip in. He kept reminding himself that he didn’t have to be afraid anymore. It was the mantra he repeated to himself as he pulled up to Liam’s house and knocked on his door. As he waited he could feel his palms sweat. Some lights were on. He guessed someone was there even though he didn’t see a car, but the garage was down so it could have easily been there. Zayn blew out some air and willed himself to calm down as the door opened up.

Liam didn’t say anything. He stared wide-eyed at Zayn on the other side of his door. To say he was surprised wasn’t even the half of it. He didn’t know what to say if he was being honest. Zayn was the last person he expected on his doorstep. Zayn seemed to know this though because he smiled a nervous smile and scratched his hair out if nervousness.

“Can we talk?” Zayn finally asked.

Liam looked at Zayn nervously, but moved further away from the door. Zayn understood and walked into Liam’s house. It was clear when he looked around they were there alone. Liam closed the door and Zayn turned around accidently meeting his gaze. Liam swallowed nervously and stepped closer to Zayn and for the first time Zayn didn’t move. “Sure we can talk.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I got inspiration for the title from A Density of Souls by Christopher Rice. It is a very good book that is worth reading. TRUST ME! If you liked this oneshot check out the book!! The book is one of my favs. Kudos and Comments are appreciated


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